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Witch vs. Witch

Dear Witchful Thinking,

I found your site in a search for ways to protect my home from a guest who I am going to have to invite into my home, but this woman, who is also a Witch, does not not like me and I do not trust her. I am Wiccan also, my distrust isn’t due to her beliefs. I need some advice on ways to protect my home when inviting an unfriendly guest who could cause harm into it. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Blessed Be,


Dear Kelly,

There’s an old saying that goes “guests are like fish, they stink after three days”. Ok, it’s not a very nice thing to say, but there is something to it. Back in the day, maybe our parents generation, folks knew what it meant to be a guest. This included cleaning up after yourself, offering to cook one night, and generally not trying to be much of a burden on the host. Now-a-days, guests expect it to be like at a hotel, where they are waited on hand and foot. Some open communication with your guest could really help–especially establish when she will be leaving.

I assume that since you have to invite this guest into your home, that you are either 1) related, 2) working on a business deal, 3) trying to please your partner who wants them to visit, or 4) taking a charity case and you are the nicest person ever.

In Wicca, we recognize that sometimes people we don’t like are actually very like us. It is what we see in them that we don’t like about ourselves. So what is it about this woman that you dislike so much? Is it her manners? Her attitude? Or just the fact that she doesn’t like you? And does she really not like you? Or do you just think that she doesn’t like you?

I don’t know what kind of harm this woman can do to you that you would allow. If she breaks something like a vase, that harm can often be mended. Even if it is irreplaceable–it’s just stuff. If she leaves “bad vibes”, you can clean them up when she’s not looking, and recognize that it’s probably only upsetting you anyway (you’re the sensitive Witch, after all!). Will she physically hurt your animals or children? That’s unacceptable for anyone, Witch or no, and she should know better (after all, who needs that kind of 3-fold return Karma??). So what kind of harm are we talking about?

Not everyone will like you. Sometimes they are projecting their own past on you. Perhaps you symbolize something distasteful to them. Sometimes they just have the wrong impression. Often their values are different than yours. It doesn’t make sense, but I think you know it is true. Something about you scares them–and that there is valuable information that you should try to find out! With that info, you can work on it and learn to help them have some compassion for you. Here’s the thing: it goes the other way, too: As Above, So Below, right?

Remember that Wiccans work for the highest good for all involved, especially because we reap our own Karma. Is starting a Witch War going to help you do that? Your guest may not have the same values that you do, even if you are both Witches, but hold true to YOUR highest ideals and strive ever toward them (Thanks Uncle Al!).

So, it sounds like you can’t change the situation. But you can change your mind. Imagine this woman is, well, a Witch–she challenges you and rubs you the wrong way and might cast a spell on you. You can’t fight her with sword and shield, so you must defeat her in less obvious ways. You are the hero in the journey and story of self-awareness and personal growth. You will defeat her because you know the ways of magic. You know that you are powerful, and nothing she can do will truly harm you (after all, a curse only works if you believe in it). You listen to her and are kind to her because you know that she can teach you something about yourself and about the world.

My advice in real life? Kill her with kindness. Make food she’ll enjoy. Make her comfortable. If she gets petty, take the highest road. If you think she’s casting spells on you, utterly ignore them. If her vibes are trashing your house, cover them with your light vibes of peace and tranquility (and a little sage or cedar never hurt either). Do not sink to her level and engage in a Witch War. I promise you will both lose.

Perhaps this isn’t the advice you wanted. But I honestly believe that when you cast spells on people, your Karma gets tangled with theirs. And I know I don’t want to be tangled with someone I don’t actually like. I trust that the Gods and the Laws of Karma will even things out in the long run. Until then, I’m free to change myself–and so are you. You have a valuable opportunity for learning here. I suggest you take it and run with it!

Otherwise, check out this article on clearing spaces and keeping magically safe.

Tangled Karmic Yarn.

  1. Peter Dybing
    September 9, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    911 Ritual for Tolerance and Remembrance

    Many in our community have expressed shock and dismay at the trend towards religious intolerance that has developed as the anniversary of 911 approaches. As a response, the following short ritual is provided as a way that we can express our collective intent for a peaceful and tolerant world on September 11, 2010.

    In calling the quarters and inviting the Lord and the Lady care should be taken to summon deities and energies that represent openness, compassion, understanding, knowledge etc.

    Items needed

    One bowl

    Tea lights

    Five candles

    Small pieces of paper

    Small piece of string

    On a table or altar, place the bowl in the center, place the candles at five equal points around the bowl to be lit as each blessing is brought forward. Around the five points place a circle of tea lights; each will represent one of the world’s religions. Write the names of world religions on the small pieces of paper to correspond with the number of tea lights placed.

    All present are asked to begin by invoking the divine to be present. (Quiet contemplation). Then start lighting the candles.

    “This Candle of Tolerance is kindled in support of all who believe that love and acceptance are gifts of the divine. May the Goddess bless them with compassion and patience.”

    “This Candle of Understanding is kindled for all those who seek interfaith cooperation. May the Goddess bless them with courage in their ideals and success in their efforts.”

    “This Candle of Unity is kindled for all who seek the divine in its many manifestations. May understanding of divinity bring unity in seeking the freedom for all to worship as they choose”.

    “This Candle of Peace is kindled for those who respond with trust, kindness and charity when faced with anger, suspicion, and misunderstanding. May the Goddess bless them with eloquence. and protect them from harm”

    This candle of Remembrance is kindled for all who have been lost in religious conflict. May their sacrifice be the altar upon which the world builds a tradition of Tolerance, Understanding, Unity, and Peace. May the Goddess bless the journeys of those we have lost.

    So Mote It Be

    Ritual Leader

    Goddess and God we place now the names of many of the great traditions of divinity at the center of our ritual and our intent. May they practice their faiths in a meaningful way. May they all enjoy the freedom to worship the Divine as the please. May they go forward in Tolerance, Understanding, Unity, Peace, and Remembrance?

    (Participants step forward, read the name of a faith and place it in the bowl and then kindle a corresponding tea light)

    Ritual Leader, collect the pieces of paper from the bowl and tie them together with a string.

    “ May this binding represent a new commitment on the part of all traditions to manifest their faith in the forms of Tolerance, Understanding, Unity, Peace and Remembrance.

    So Mote It Be

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